“you’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
love like you’ll never be hurt,
sing like there’s nobody listening,
and live like it’s heaven on earth.”
— william w. purkey
I. A NEW YEAR
well, who am i to say, really? i don’t think the full weight of the magical events which have conspired in a matter of seconds have fully settled in, like stardust on our skin. on a side note, when people say something is magical, they say that something is too good to be true– but it is. it’s not really magical is it? just human.
i think that’s what i love so much about new year’s eve. it’s a “magical” night where there is no wrong. just spending time with family and/or friends, a night full of genuine smiles and the same thought making its way through everyone’s mind. possibility.
my new year was pretty amazing! i went to an illuminated lantern festival where i came upon the masterpiece that was a recreated noah’s arc >.< there was a giant glowing rainbow, too many cheesy fries, and my brother and i thought a monkey had been demonically possessed to sing the low notes in under the sea. afterwards, i went to a mountain peak in berkeley– it was the best view i’ve ever seen.
.an excerpt from my night.
jagged rocks. the curvature of a wonky tree reminding me of the whomping willow. high above me, a ragtag group of teenagers listening to music. the type of music someone would play from their ipod in a house party with the lights dimmed low and a few individuals strumming a guitar nearby. blurry photos of the city lights. flowing in and out, combining hands at a winking bay. the rock is wonderfully jagged as my family dawn a persona of a nineties model basking in the sunlight. a man with memories sutured into his skin sets up a time-lapse and i think “that’s effin’ amazing”. the music dies in and out with lofi hip hop filling the sweet night air. the starry-eyed pretense that everything is O.K. i think it is. now.
the lost souls near me have no idea how they’ve impacted me just now. sometimes i imagine that’s how i’ll be in maybe four years. i’ve found my main group of friends and nothing is okay- when is it really truly?- but we’re here, together, listening to frank ocean’s chanel and contemplating about life using too many curse words. i love everything about it.
we came home for midnight and ate coconut dhoklas (a gujurati dish), and listened to music before crashing into BED. sleeping in your bed after being away is T H E B E S T thing ever. good night y’all.
II. GOAL-SETTING & A WEBINAR
^A.K.A. two of my most favorite things >.<
regarding my 2019 goals, i think i did the best job i could, and that’s what really matters. it would be unrealistic to pressure myself into becoming a completely new “me”. someone happier and more productive who drank eight glasses of water daily (which i actually did! y a y y y). regardless, it’s important to know your limits and aim for something a little higher.
my birthday is three days away, so january is the best day of the year for me. this is because i feel like the best version of myself. i remember last year when i shed a year, i felt a deep loss. i felt like i hadn’t done my best at being ___ years old. while i don’t feel that way this year, i’d really like to carry on that positive outlook on life.
my goals aren’t as cut-through as last year where i separated them into “business”, “personal”, and “blogging”. this year, i’m focusing on getting rid of all that bad juju and just becoming a version of myself i can say i’m proud of!
as of now, this includes:
- journaling– using prompts, writing before i sleep, and starting BUJO (aditi knows ;))
- being purposeful in my decisions and planning ahead– what do i plan to accomplish tomorrow?
- grasping opportunities– small ones can be life-changing
- centering myself in everyday situations– hamon breathing
- plan for the future– determine where i see myself in not just one year, but two and loosely, five
and of course, this list will keep expanding into mains, subs, daily habits, long-term goals, and much more— you know me, i just love to be organized!
regarding my blog, expect to see a new series starring bujo posts! i expect to be posting every wednesday and occasionally sunday, so look out for that as well! i’m also trying to incorporate art into everything i do– highlighters, watercolors, and so much more. that’ll ensure that i can be creative and actually do and make what i love. it’ll also help me devise a new method of organization. habits, colleges, mood-tracking, and so much more!! << way too excited to be organized >.<
i know i’ll always be scared. scared of creating and whether the world will like it. scared of not being good enough, not accomplishing enough at my age. but maybe instead of trying to be a happier, sparkier person “so mature for my age” i’ll just carry on being me, abiding my ideals in the pursuit of happiness… and general w A c. *wow, way to ruin the moment vaishnavi* but in all reality, i want to stop being the one to hold myself back. meaning to let “the gates of my creativity flow” , not to sound like a hippie kindergarten teacher. to simply exist. but meaningfully.
overall, this year i hope to carry on the immense productivity i feel in january so that my year is organized and i’m held accountable. but i’ll also make sure to venture into the dark and impassible unknown more. or my backyard, y’know.
my brother, vAvA, (as i so fondly nickname him) showed me a webinar created and directed by dr. benjamin hardy. he talks about peak experiences: (the rare experiences all of us experience at least once in our lives which tilt our world view A.K.A. being hit with a boulder-like weight after your perspective has changed) and how we can use them to shape the type of life we want to have. i thought the concept was pretty awesome! i’m a young person, and besides reading books that have profoundly impacted me… i’ve never had a peak experience. i think the whole idea of having one itself is amazing, and more so the fact that you can use it as a diving board to kickstart the type of life you want to live.
i can imagine every human bean out there hooked onto the lilt of dr. hardy’s words. the idea is so awesome since it’s a band of people who feel the same way while there is simply a human bean who wishes to share the wisdom he’s collected. it’s a room full of dreams and stars- if you can reach just high enough, you might be able to wrap them around you like a blanket burrito filled with all the dreams, aspirations, and aesthetics of how you want your life to turn out.
yes, the idea of setting goals doesn’t appeal to everyone. but i think there is something special in trying to become a better person day by day and having a vision board of what you’d like to do and see and try and experiment with.
reading everyone’s posts today and everyone’s determination this year… it’s special. it’s like something has changed in the air. as for me, i’m always hungry for new experiences and all the years i’ve yet to experience. the moments i’ll share, the skies i’ll look up towards. fleeting moments of pure happiness. some call it magic, but i call it n o w.
g’night, sleep tight, and see you in the next blue moon.