reflecting 2019, and welcoming 2020: how i’m planning to have the best year yet

“you’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
love like you’ll never be hurt,
sing like there’s nobody listening,
and live like it’s heaven on earth.”

— william w. purkey



it’s 2020.

well, who am i to say, really? i don’t think the full weight of the magical events which have conspired in a matter of seconds have fully settled in, like stardust on our skin. on a side note, when people say something is magical, they say that something is too good to be true– but it is. it’s not really magical is it? just human.

i think that’s what i love so much about new year’s eve. it’s a “magical” night where there is no wrong. just spending time with family and/or friends, a night full of genuine smiles and the same thought making its way through everyone’s mind. possibility.

my new year was pretty amazing! i went to an illuminated lantern festival where i came upon the masterpiece that was a recreated noah’s arc >.< there was a giant glowing rainbow, too many cheesy fries, and my brother and i thought a monkey had been demonically possessed to sing the low notes in under the sea. afterwards, i went to a mountain peak in berkeley– it was the best view i’ve ever seen.


.an excerpt from my night.

jagged rocks. the curvature of a wonky tree reminding me of the whomping willow. high above me, a ragtag group of teenagers listening to music. the type of music someone would play from their ipod in a house party with the lights dimmed low and a few individuals strumming a guitar nearby. blurry photos of the city lights. flowing in and out, combining hands at a winking bay. the rock is wonderfully jagged as my family dawn a persona of a nineties model basking in the sunlight. a man with memories sutured into his skin sets up a time-lapse and i think “that’s effin’ amazing”. the music dies in and out with lofi hip hop filling the sweet night air. the starry-eyed pretense that everything is O.K. i think it is. now.

the lost souls near me have no idea how they’ve impacted me just now. sometimes i imagine that’s how i’ll be in maybe four years. i’ve found my main group of friends and nothing is okay- when is it really truly?- but we’re here, together, listening to frank ocean’s chanel and contemplating about life using too many curse words. i love everything about it.

.end excerpt.

we came home for midnight and ate coconut dhoklas (a gujurati dish), and listened to music before crashing into BED. sleeping in your bed after being away is T H E B E S T thing ever. good night y’all.


^A.K.A. two of my most favorite things >.<

regarding my 2019 goals, i think i did the best job i could, and that’s what really matters. it would be unrealistic to pressure myself into becoming a completely new “me”. someone happier and more productive who drank eight glasses of water daily (which i actually did! y a y y y). regardless, it’s important to know your limits and aim for something a little higher.

my birthday is three days away, so january is the best day of the year for me. this is because i feel like the best version of myself. i remember last year when i shed a year, i felt a deep loss. i felt like i hadn’t done my best at being ___ years old. while i don’t feel that way this year, i’d really like to carry on that positive outlook on life.

my goals aren’t as cut-through as last year where i separated them into “business”, “personal”, and “blogging”. this year,  i’m focusing on getting rid of all that bad juju and just becoming a version of myself i can say i’m proud of!

as of now, this includes:

  • journaling– using prompts, writing before i sleep, and starting BUJO (aditi knows ;))
  • being purposeful in my decisions and planning ahead– what do i plan to accomplish tomorrow?
  • grasping opportunities– small ones can be life-changing
  • centering myself in everyday situations– hamon breathing
  • plan for the future– determine where i see myself in not just one year, but two and loosely, five

and of course, this list will keep expanding into mains, subs, daily habits, long-term goals, and much moreyou know me, i just love to be organized!

regarding my blog, expect to see a new series starring bujo posts! i expect to be posting every wednesday and occasionally sunday, so look out for that as well! i’m also trying to incorporate art into everything i do– highlighters, watercolors, and so much more. that’ll ensure that i can be creative and actually do and make what i love. it’ll also help me devise a new method of organization. habits, colleges, mood-tracking, and so much more!! << way too excited to be organized >.<

i know i’ll always be scared. scared of creating and whether the world will like it. scared of not being good enough, not accomplishing enough at my age. but maybe instead of trying to be a happier, sparkier person “so mature for my age” i’ll just carry on being me, abiding my ideals in the pursuit of happiness… and general w A c. *wow, way to ruin the moment vaishnavi* but in all reality, i want to stop being the one to hold myself back. meaning to let “the gates of my creativity flow” , not to sound like a hippie kindergarten teacher. to simply exist. but meaningfully.

overall, this year i hope to carry on the immense productivity i feel in january so that my year is organized and i’m held accountable. but i’ll also make sure to venture into the dark and impassible unknown more. or my backyard, y’know.

my brother, vAvA, (as i so fondly nickname him) showed me a webinar created and directed by dr. benjamin hardy. he talks about peak experiences: (the rare experiences all of us experience at least once in our lives which tilt our world view A.K.A. being hit with a boulder-like weight after your perspective has changed) and how we can use them to shape the type of life we want to have. i thought the concept was pretty awesome! i’m a young person, and besides reading books that have profoundly impacted me… i’ve never had a peak experience. i think the whole idea of having one itself is amazing, and more so the fact that you can use it as a diving board to kickstart the type of life you want to live.

i can imagine every human bean out there hooked onto the lilt of dr. hardy’s words. the idea is so awesome since it’s a band of people who feel the same way while there is simply a human bean who wishes to share the wisdom he’s collected. it’s a room full of dreams and stars- if you can reach just high enough, you might be able to wrap them around you like a blanket burrito filled with all the dreams, aspirations, and aesthetics of how you want your life to turn out.

yes, the idea of setting goals doesn’t appeal to everyone. but i think there is something special in trying to become a better person day by day and having a vision board of what you’d like to do and see and try and experiment with.

reading everyone’s posts today and everyone’s determination this year… it’s special. it’s like something has changed in the air. as for me, i’m always hungry for new experiences and all the years i’ve yet to experience. the moments i’ll share, the skies i’ll look up towards. fleeting moments of pure happiness. some call it magic, but i call it n o w.

g’night, sleep tight, and see you in the next blue moon.

xx vaishnavi






8 thoughts on “reflecting 2019, and welcoming 2020: how i’m planning to have the best year yet

  1. Ash Ronnel says:

    that excerpt was BEAUTIFUL (contemplating about life under a starry night where everything is ok… *chef’s kiss*), and yesssss crashing in your own bed after a late night is the best feeling ever!!! XD
    your goals sound great, and i can’t wait for the bujo series! and i need to check out the webinar; “peak experiences” is such a beautiful phrase suggesting something so impactful.

    anyways, happy 2020! this is going to be a beautiful year filled with stardust and magic and wishes and literature and smiles … i just know it 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    • vaishnavi says:


      we all need to do that at least once in our lives! it’s one of the most AMAZING experiences ever, for sure 😆 it is the best feeling! crashing into your bed gives you such an accomplished but exhilarating feeling, y’know? i hereby decree that this year will be subject to lots of cannonballing into bed :)) ‘peak experiences’ has become one of my fav phrases (besides a hodge-podge of latin words, haha) the way something can impact you so immensely in a matter of s e c o n d s, is bewildering, just as you described it! i’m SO counting on a year full of magic in all forms… 💛

      Liked by 1 person

    • vaishnavi says:

      i really did, probably the best new year i’ve ever had. awww, thank YOU becky. you’re def an important part of my life that made my year better 💛 oh my gosh, thanks. i hope it’s worth all of those writing phases– including that time where i wrote in form of trashy lemony snicket *facepalms*

      happy new year, becky!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Olivia @ Purely Olivia says:

    I love this so much!! The new year truly is so magical. I don’t know why, but I’m feeling the motivation more than ever this year, and reading this post only increased it, so thank you for that.💗Happy new year, Vaishnavi! I hope you accomplish everything you want to. xx

    Liked by 2 people

    • vaishnavi says:

      awh, thank you olivia! and thank you for making my 2019 so magical– you were a pretty important part of it! i feel it too! someone can say that there’s something in the air, but there’s this drive of motivation in me which i absolutely love. you are SO welcome, and happy new year olivia!! 💛

      Liked by 1 person

  3. banditø10059793 says:

    your energy is infectious vaish … i feel so motivated to change myself for the better and get my life together after reading this. i want to go and paint my shoes and start a watercolor portfolio and get out my colored pencils and wash my walls and throw out all my old clothes and run a mile…..
    after i study my 122 question quizlet and answer lab questions XDXD
    but right now there’s nutella hot chocolate (a magical delicious drink, i assure you) and a featherbed of snow covering everything outside and a fire in the fireplace. what i really need is to change on the inside, and you’ve inspired me to do that too.
    it’s been so fun reading your blog and interacting this year vaish ❤ ❤ ❤ here's to another year of music and friends and stories and poems and mile-long blog posts *clinks glasses*
    ❤ ❤ ❤
    power to the local dreamer ||-//

    Liked by 1 person

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